då är denna månaden slut.. the time is passing by really fast now, now when you are aware of time. sometimes I would like to stop the time and live there for a while, where everything was perfect, where I enjoyed life much more then I do now. where I was comfortble with almost everything, when I was happy, for real. I feel fake most of the time. all I want to do is to lay down and cry, but I can't,  there are no tears, they won't come out. but then I'm not that person that wants to be sad and depressed. I want people to see me as a happy person with no problems. but everyone understands that a person without any problems isn't a human being. you always have problems, small or big that dosen't matter, but you have one. there isn't such a thing as perfect. there's not. the ones who call them self perfect are thoose with the most problem? cause if you think that you live in a perfect world you don't have a normal understanding, the world is far from perfect.

you gave me a little bit of hope a couple of days ago, but now that little bit of hope is gone. really, you can't have ment what you sad. please, don't say things just because you don't want to hurt me, I'm rather hurt by the truth then happy by the lie. I can honestly say that I think about you at least one time per day. but maybe that's a waste of time?

I want to leave this city now. I can't stand it here, the best thing would be if I left all alone. I don't have the strenght to stay here. Shore I long to go to Austria and Greece? but for the moment I liked to be by myself.
It feels like I have been hearing so much in such a short time that I haven't been able to deal with it all. Friends have been turning to me when they have a problem and I have been listen and given them my advice and shore I don't mind them turning  to me but it has been so much in such a short of time. I don't no about everybody else, but I can't just forget something or put it behind me direct. So when it's a lot of things, I find it a bit hard to deal with it all at the same time. I need time for myself, and usually it's enough with that time I have now, but not now. I need much more time and I have to be alone.